Tim Lacy

My great aunt Rachel used to have an expression, “The world is going to hell in a hand basket,” and if she were alive today she would certainly have validation.

We have ISIS holding the whole free world hostage.  People are afraid to go to the movies or a concert.  Random terrorists and bombers are attacking participants in sports events.  A classic example is the Boston Marathon bombing.  Despite the fact that this was an event in the near past, it is fresh on people’s minds and the fear is still hanging over our heads.  There is no way to be completely safe from this kind of terror because your next door neighbor may be building a bomb in his garage right at this moment.  Not only are we engaged in a war that we are losing, but our athletes and celebrities are having some rocks turned over to reveal some not-so-politically-correct behavior.

The hottest topic on the minds of the public is the past actions of Bill Cosby.  Cosby was America’s dad, and on Thursday nights most of America was glued to the TV to watch the Huxtables show us what an ideal lifestyle was like.  This was the ideal family, and although they would have to navigate some bumps in the road from time to time, they would always find a solution and along the way they made us smile.

When scores of women came forward and accused Bill Cosby of sexual misconduct, it was like Cliff Huxtable had betrayed us.

Some of these actions against our heroes are bogus–for my money.  Mike Tyson didn’t get due process in his rape case involving Desiree Washington.  Some of the evidence wasn’t admitted, and nobody has been able to explain what this woman thought she was going to his room at 2 a.m. for.  I am sure she didn’t think the decor of the hotel room was that interesting.  And, according to the limo driver, there seemed to be a preview of coming attractions happening in the back seat before the departure to the room.

President Bill Clinton had a little episode over a dress belonging to his accuser.  I’m thinking that when a dress with tell-tale evidence emerges a year later, there is something wrong with this picture.

Kobe Bryant had a near miss over a night of pleasure.  It seems the next morning, after conversation with her friends, the accuser decided she had been raped.  I can only submit that when a young lady goes to a hotel room with a young stud, it ain’t to order room service.  Kobe got lucky, because a Black jock in a White court better have his fingers crossed.

Tiger Woods had the world in the palm of his hand for a while.  He was winning so much the other golfers would show up thinking they only had a chance for second place.  Then a little carelessness with his cell phone caused his wife to bust him.  As the investigation rolled on, it turned out Tiger had mini harems stashed all over the country.  He immediately fell from grace with sponsors dropping him like he was a hot potato.  When he returned to the links, his game was mediocre at best.

These are just a few sidetrack issues to distract us while terrorists like ISIS are going full tilt to take over the world.

My favorite is the sanctions brought upon Adrian Peterson.  Adrian whipped his child with a switch.  By the time the media finished you would think he used a half a tree.  About half of my buddies have had an appointment with a switch.  The worst part of this punishment was you having to go out to cut your own switch.  And, it better be stout.

My mom’s weapon of choice was a hair brush.  I ain’t talking about those rinky-dink brushes you buy at Joe’s Beauty Supply. I’m talking about a brush that came with a set that sat on her dresser.  There was a matching comb, mirror and brush, and the set probably weighed 5 pounds.  I was in church with mom and feeling like I could show my behind because there would be no chastisement because we were in church.  All of a sudden, I was invited to visit the ladies room with her.  Upon arrival she dug in her purse and withdrew the hairbrush.  I knew right away that the only thing that was going to save my butt was an intervention from the Holy Ghost.  I am glad the media wasn’t on hand to cover that event, because I also had a fall from grace.