Honey. Snookums. Sugar Pie. Baby. Pet names for lovers have been an accepted—even encouraged—part of the vocabulary between couples. But, a groundbreaking book suggests that pet names, among other symptoms of familiarity, can breed boredom in the bedroom, sounding a death knell for relationships.
“It sounds counterintuitive, but in doing our research for the book, we discovered …pet names used in a long-term relationship is one of the habits that can sabotage your sex life and lead you down the road to what we call the ‘roommate syndrome,’” said realtor and journalist Maggie Arana in an interview on myFOXboston.com.
Dropping the pet names is among several tools to spark stagnant sex relations, said Arana, author of the manual Stop Calling Him Honey… And Start Having Sex! How Changing Your Everyday Habits Will Make You Hot for Each Other All Over Again.
Arana, along with co-author Julienne Davis (of Eyes Wide Shut fame), said they wrote this book based on personal experience—existing as roommates in their relationships because, despite mutual love and respect, the sex had gone sour.
“Unfortunately the common advice of buying sexy lingerie, going on a date night, redecorating your bedroom…really doesn’t work,” Arana said. Instead, the book looks at the everyday things couples say and do that can sabotage their sexual chemistry, and offers subtle ways solve this common dilemma, including:
• How sharing everything including bathroom habits is not good for a relationship;
• Why couples need to argue more, not less, and the best ways to do it;
• How maintaining a sense of separation will keep you together; and
• Why feeling sexy doesn’t hinge on having the perfect body but rather on how a woman feels about herself and how she projects those feelings to her partner.
Reviews of the book have been mixed, but a majority of readers on Amazon.com seemed to appreciate the book’s advice.
“This book has been a ‘game-changer!’” declared Ken W. of Northern Virginia. “We are now back to appreciating one another as sexual beings, dressing to impress, avoiding indiscriminate gas passing, burping or engaging in other sex debilitating activity. Who wants to have sex with a burping, gas passing, arse scratching ‘honey?’
“My beautiful spouse is 56 and I’m 60 experiencing a new ‘spring’ in our relationship in more ways than one!”