Love means telling the truth—our sisters deserve to step into the world prepared, polished and powerful.
By Frances Murphy Draper,
AFRO CEO and Publisher
I never thought I’d live to see the day when pajamas and bonnets became public attire. Yet here we are—women moving through airports, shopping centers and even job fairs dressed for the bedroom instead of the world outside. My grandmother would’ve raised an eyebrow at the sight, and so do I—not to tear anyone down, but because presentation still matters.
That’s why I find myself shaking my head when I see young women—especially young Black women—strolling in pajama bottoms, fuzzy slippers and bonnets. And it’s not just the young. Some of our older sisters have joined in too. Not just a quick dash out the door, but full-on public outings—in the downtown business district, in malls, strolling down busy main streets—dressed like they hit snooze and never changed. Sisters, what’s going on?
I’m not here to ridicule anybody. I understand the appeal. Pajamas are comfortable. And bonnets do protect hairstyles and keep the braids and curls in check. But hear me clearly: bonnets—satin or otherwise—were designed for the bedroom. There’s no version that works as a fashion statement in public. None. They are for sleeping, not for strolling.
And I’m not the first to say it. Back in 2021, actress and comedian Mo’Nique—better known as “Auntie Mo”—sparked a firestorm when she urged sisters to stop wearing bonnets and pajamas in airports and other public spaces. Some applauded her, others criticized her tone, but no one could deny she touched a nerve. Four years later, the trend hasn’t slowed—it’s gotten worse. Which means her message is still relevant, and maybe even more urgent today.
I also raise this as an employer who knows how quickly impressions are formed. You might just be grabbing food or walking down the street, but the truth is you never know who you will encounter. Opportunity has a way of showing up when you least expect it. You do not want your one shot at a mentor, future boss or potential business partner to be overshadowed by the memory of pajama bottoms—whether covered in cartoon characters, bold stripes, or colorful prints—and a bonnet that should have stayed in the house.
This isn’t just about jobs or the workplace. It’s about relationships, too. I’ve heard so many young women lament how hard it is to find a good man. But what message are you sending if someone bumps into you and you look like you just rolled out of bed? Do men really find pajamas and bonnets attractive? Is that the energy that says, “I’m ready to build something serious”? Appearance isn’t everything, but it speaks louder than words, and it sets the tone for how others perceive your self-respect.
Our mothers and grandmothers tried to tell us this long ago. Remember the old line: “Make sure you’ve got on clean underwear—just in case you end up in the hospital”? It wasn’t really about the underwear—it was about self-respect, preparedness, and never knowing when life might throw a surprise your way. The same principle applies here: You don’t want the world’s lasting impression of you to be that you looked like you rolled straight out of bed.
Here’s another hard truth: the world already places unfair judgments on Black women. We’re told we have to be twice as good, twice as polished, twice as ready. I don’t like the double standard but ignoring it won’t make it disappear. Why hand the world more excuses to dismiss you before you even open your mouth?
And no, I’m not suggesting you wear a business suit every time you step outside. No one is saying that. But surely there’s a middle ground between a blazer and bunny slippers. Throw on some jeans (without holes), leggings, or a casual dress—something that says you cared enough to get dressed for the day. Because like it or not, the way you present yourself is often the way you are received.
Dressing with pride isn’t just about how others see you. It’s also about how you see yourself. When you step outside with your head held high and your look put together, your confidence shifts. Your energy changes. You carry yourself differently, and that self-assurance can open doors that pajamas and bonnets simply will not.
So, to my sisters of every age, I say this with love: leave the pajamas and the bonnets in the house. The world is your stage, and every time you step outside, you are telling a story about who you are and who you want to be. Write a story that commands respect.
After all, pajamas and bonnets are for sleep. Out here in the world, you are wide awake, walking purposefully into your future—so dress like it.
Amen. The truth may hurt some sisters’ feelings, but it is still the truth. We need to show more pride in our appearances because we will be judged by them—like it or not. So don’t back down from speaking the truth.