Often, I’ll see a Facebook or Twitter post from high-caliber Black women about how good Black men are hard to find. In the same breath, these females also dog their last boyfriends and cap the post off with the clichéd phrase, “{N-words} ain’t sh*t.”
But these females usually didn’t hold relationships with an average guy. Most of them routinely date bad boys or thugs.
We witnessed this phenomenon early on. In elementary school, you always had the boys who routinely picked on girls. They were the ones who threw dirt on them, called them names and made their lives a living hell. Yet, the same boys always came out on top. On Valentine’s Day, they would often be the ones who received the most cards and candy from their feminine “foes,” while the guys who weren’t as cruel received most of their Valentine’s gifts from sympathetic teachers.
As time progressed, the same behavior never changed–it just evolved. In high school, the jerky jock and the self-proclaimed “bad boy” always conquered over the average nice guy. As the aforementioned character tried to advance his strategies to get girls, he was often casted away into the notorious friend zone. And what did the girls who chose the bad guys receive? Usually headaches and heartbreak.
Years later, some women still have the same mentality. The only thing that has changed in the equation is the guys who figured out the formula and became jerks overnight. They were the ones who started out as nice guys, but realized that in order to hold a prosperous dating future, they had to transform themselves just to become a catch.
In the Black community, it’s not surprising to see a sista with impressive credentials dating a straight off the block thug. While there are plenty Black women out there who pursue men that are of their same caliber, plenty choose to do the opposite.
These females are typically the ones who make real relationships with these types of brothas, and then want to blast Black men as a whole on social networks when their relationships turn sour.
What did you expect to happen?
Though your bad boy may have provided you with short-lived pleasures, did you honestly believe he would hold up in the long term if he didn’t bring anything to the table to begin with?
So, for those females who are trying to find love, who’s dating record is crammed with thugs and bad boys, why not break the mold and try a nice guy? Finding one shouldn’t be difficult. He’s probably around somewhere…finishing last.
Each week, the AFRO will offer a candid take on topics dealing with the plight of Black love. If you’d like to suggest a topic, email editor@afro.com.
