In the blockbuster relationship comedy Think Like a Man, the women in the film turn to radio personality-turned relationship guru Steve Harvey’s book to “flip the script” on their mates to improve their tanking relationships.
While most can identify with many of the characters in the film, Mya is challenged with an age-old dating dilemma ?Should she put sex on hold to find Mr. Right?
Fed up with the “hit it and quit it” mentality of her previous suitors, Mya takes Harvey’s advice and adopts the “90-day plan” for her next mate. The strategy tells women to hold off on sexual activity for 90 days to determine whether or not her suitor is looking for a “keeper” or a “sport fish.”
According to Harvey, if the guy is looking for a keeper, he’ll gladly wait out the 90 days to get to know the female. On the flip side, if the man is looking for a sport fish, he’ll do whatever it takes to have sex with the female and ultimately throw her back in the wild.
But how effective is the 90-day rule?
Le’Aire Butcher, a 24-year-old information technology major at Delaware State University says setting a specific time limit for sex could be a detriment to the potential relationship.
“Sex is the most intimate connection that people can make with one another,” he said. “You can’t have rules for it, aside from protection. Once you set aside what you want to do because of a perceived notion, then you’re not being true to yourself or the other person.”
He added, “It’s not about time, it’s about the people. You have to judge each situation by itself and do what you think is best. Sometimes that means waiting, other times, not so much.”
Meanwhile, Jatona Davis, a 24-year-old from Passaic, N.J. believes she should have adopted a regimen similar to Harvey’s advice in the past.
“Personally, I never used the 90-day plan but if I knew what I know now, I would have used a 30 or 60 day rule,” she said. “I believe it takes about 3 months for a guy to understand you, relate to you, miss you and care for you unconditionally.
Those 90 days should be spent learning about a person–spiritually and intellectually rather than their favorite position.”
Brad Berkowitz, the author of the book 21st Century Guide to Bachelorhood: Lessons Learned Over 20 Years concurs with most of Harvey’s advice.
Following the 2009 release of Harvey’s book Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man, Berkowitz told the Huffington Post that while it’s important to not jump the gun, males and females should work out a practical time to take their relationships to the next level.
“It’s good for both the guy and girl not to jump in too quickly sexually,” he said. “If they sleep together too soon, the girl will think the guy is a player and the guy will think the girl is sleazy. But 90 days does seem a bit long.”
“It’s best for the couple to speak openly, and find a time period which feels comfortable for each other. And the girl should know, if the guy pushes too hard for sex, it means the guy doesn’t really care about the woman.”
The AFRO wants to know what you think! Do you believe in the 90-day rule? Sound off!