Becoming a father takes work. Before you became a father you were first, now you must learn that it is a father’s place to be last. You must learn to put others needs before your own. If you truly love your child make sure you give them the best you can give. Speak the right way, act the right way, treat your family and children the right way, be the right person. As a father you must be the best that you can be.

Remember that every success in life is built upon failure. Every successful company and person made good decisions based on what they learned from the bad decisions they made in life.

You must put away childish things and learn to be a responsible father and man.

Make a plan to get educated, trained, and developed into a responsible father by following the footsteps of men who are positive, spiritually equipped, responsible, and leading by example.

Only imitate the best to be the best. Have high expectations for your children. A Father must spend quality time, give gifts of love, and know that what you honor or believe in shows what you are about.

There are seven basic love languages of fatherhood. Speak affirmations to your children and be as positive as possible. Every time you curse you start a violent event in your child’s life. Violence begins with negative words and people. Always give your children gifts. They do not have to be bought from a store but can be created or harvested by you, such as the gift of a flower, or a book, a picture, or some food. Serve your child, do something for them. If Jesus washed the feet of his disciples what will you do for your child? Spend quality time with your children.

Quality time is love and love is an action. Finally hold your child, hug your child, let them feel your spirit through your meaningful touch. The strongest man is the one who will kneel down low to touch a child. Also tell jokes to make them laugh and be a fun person to be around. Don’t be so serious all the time.

Make a plan to provide and protect your children by finding a vocational skill, technical skill, or increasing your education. Expose yourself to good thinkers – you must constantly grow and learn. A man without a plan is simply not a man.

Put the right people in the right place in your life with the right plan, because the wrong person creates problems instead of potential. The wrong place creates frustration instead of fulfillment. The wrong plan creates grief instead of growth.

Choose to think good thoughts – the right thought plus the right people in the right environment at the right time for the right reason equal the right result.

If you want to improve your life then focus on helping others. When you give you will receive.

Know the family bill of rights:

Every child has the right to have two homes where he or she is cherished and given the opportunity to develop normally!

* Every child has the right to a meaningful, nurturing relationship with each parent.

* Every parent and child has the right to call themselves a family regardless of how the children’s time is divided.

* Every parent has the responsibility and right to contribute to the raising of his or her child.

* Every child has the right to have competent parents and to be free from hearing, observing, or being part of their arguments or problems with one another.

Remember, you are not a man because you can make a baby. Any idiot who can achieve an erection can impregnate a willing female participant. You are a man because you are willing to raise a baby with love, nurturing, quality time, and unselfish service while always respecting the child’s mother.

Fatherhood is emotional, psychological, social, economic, physical, and most importantly spiritual. It is about building positive relationships that open opportunities for success.

There is really no book that you can read to become that special father.

Fatherhood has to be seen, experienced, and modeled from those who have done it successfully. Find other men in your life who are worthy of being followed, listened to, and questioned. You will find them serving others in your community.

You will know them by their works.

You must stand up, reach up, and step up to be that courageous and loving father that brings his irreplaceable gift through a relationship with his children and the baby’s mother and family.

Franklyn M. Malone is the CEO of 100 Fathers Inc. and a national fatherhood leader.