Ericka Alston Buck
Special to the AFRO
I’m back! Yes, I tried it again and took myself off of the market for a few months, I even got the ring! Just to step back and reevaluate the relationship and ponder if this was really where I wanted to hitch my wagon, forever?
We made lists.
Decided what was non-negotiable.
Compromised. And decided….not to settle.
My final answer was no.
There’s a song that says “breaking up is hard to do.” But does it have to be? It really shouldn’t be if we recognize ourselves as the prizes we are– and in 2024, we’re no longer willing to settle for anything less than what we deserve. So, let’s gather ’round for a little chat about breakups. Are you ready to reclaim your crown? I am. Let’s dive in!
You know, breakups can hit us hard– and I mean really hard. Some of us lose weight from the stress, while others can’t seem to catch a wink of sleep. And don’t even get me started on the tears—Lord knows I’ve cried enough to fill a river or two. It’s like we’re on an emotional rollercoaster, and sometimes, it feels like we’re never gonna make it off.
But here’s the thing: breaking up is tough for everyone, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. It’s okay to feel sad, angry or even relieved—it’s all part of the healing process. The key is to remember that you’re not alone and that brighter days are ahead.
Now, let’s talk about how to make that breakup sting a little less, shall we?
1. Don’t forget why you broke up: This one’s crucial. When you find yourself reminiscing about the good times– stop right there. Instead, pivot back to why you broke up in the first place. Remember, you deserve better.
2. Delete the contact information: It’s time to declutter your phone. Delete the number, the emails, the texts—everything. You’re making space for better things to come.
3. Delete all photos– everywhere: Say goodbye to those memories. Delete the pics from your phone, your social media accounts, your iCloud and anywhere else they might be lurking online. Out of sight, out of mind!
4. Limit Interactions with mutual friends: Those mutual friends? Yeah, they gotta go too (at least for now). Keep your circle tight and surround yourself with people who uplift you– not remind you of the ex-lover.
5. Stay away from the family: I know your ex had an amazing family with a mom that makes bomb mac and cheese– but it’s time to cut ties with everyone. You’re building your own empire. No room for reminders of the past. Revisit these relationships after you’ve given yourself the time needed to really get over it.
6. Make self-care a priority: Treat yourself like the VIP you are. Take long bubble baths, get those facials and indulge in some retail therapy. You deserve it.
7. Pick up a hobby: Time to discover what makes your heart sing! Whether it’s painting, dancing, or knitting cat sweaters, find something that brings you joy and dive right in.
8. Stay booked and busy: Keep that schedule packed, darling. Plan outings with your friends, join a book club or take that salsa dancing class you’ve been eyeing. Busy bees don’t have time for heartache.
9. Glow up and elevate: It’s your time to shine! Hit the gym, revamp your wardrobe and slay those looks. You’re not just moving on, you’re moving up.
10. While you wait, elevate: Remember, darling, you’re not just waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right—you’re leveling up in the meantime. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself, and everything else will fall into place.
So, there you have it. Ten quick and sassy tips to help you bounce back from that breakup like the star you are. Remember, you’re the prize, and nothing—absolutely nothing—can dull your shine or dim your light.
Remember to update those online dating profiles too, get back on the market. Date them all– and remember to hold your head up while you’re single in the city! Chat soon.