By Minister Patti Nicole Wheeler

Often in our lives we feel hurt or broken for a variety of reasons: people pass away, people walk away, we are laid-off, we’re fired or we quit. Maybe we dropped out of school or we’re kicked out—or we didn’t have the money nor the grades to even start an education past the high school level. We currently have a job, but the money just isn’t enough. I could go on and on listing the innumerable things that could bring us down in our lives, but consider this: sometimes when things are falling apart, God may be planning something better for us.

I’m sure that we all remember the story of Joseph, the favorite son of Jacob. Because of jealousy, Joseph was sold to a band of traveling Ishmaelites by his own brothers. God was with Joseph and enabled him to flourish in that situation so much that he was able to save his family during a time of great famine (Genesis 37).

Minister Patti Nicole Wheeler (Courtesy Photo)

Joseph didn’t know why he was in that circumstance, but he trusted God. He listened to His voice and he was blessed in the mist of what seemed to be a broken situation. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you,” Deuteronomy 31:6. When we stay humble and thankful unto God for just who He is in our lives, He will provide for us; He will take care of us, because He loves us. “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time; casting all your worries on Him, because He cares for you,” I Peter 5:6-7. Sometimes God is working on a plan for us that we may not be able to see nor even understand. When we trust and believe that He will never leave us nor forsake us, He can and He will make a blessing out of the broken.

Sometimes when things are falling apart, God may be trying to remove elements from our lives.

“If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed,” John 8:36. There are so many things that could hold us down or hold us back, preventing us from blossoming and growing. We need Jesus Christ to help us break free from low self-esteem, addictions, jealousy, anger, envy, casual drug-use, casual alcohol-use, casual sex and absorbing negativity. It is very difficult to be hopeful and positive when we constantly play video games, watch shows, listen to music, read literature and socialize with individuals that demonstrate violence, display negativity and pour conflict into us. Those are not nurturing energies. Those are not caring or loving spirits.

Not all friendships and relationships are “till death do us part.” Some people were only meant to be in our lives for a period of time. Some folks we were meant to help; some folks were meant to help us. Some folks are meant for the duration. We need to learn the difference between who is to stay, how long they should stay and then (if need be) find the strength to let them go. If a relationship is falling apart, maybe God is tearing down some old walls, and some old habits just to build something fresh, wonderful and new. Not all broken relationships were made to be pieced back together. Some relationships are like glass and are best left broken because we would only continue to hurt ourselves by trying to put them back together.

Sometimes when things are falling apart, God may want us to change our hearts so He does not change our situations. Sometimes we need to carry the cross that we are bearing. If we try to lighten our load, we may lose some valuable tools that we may need for our journey. God knows what we need and how much we can carry, so we just need to trust Him. He will not give us more that we can bear, so we just need to trust Him. When we cannot see our way, God is guiding our every footstep, so we just need to trust Him. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths,” Proverbs 3:5-6.

We can’t grow up or move forward if we remain in the same space. So remember: sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place. 

Minister Patti Nicole Wheeler is a guest columnist at the Nashville Pride Newspaper. For more information, visit

The opinions on this page are those of the writers and not necessarily those of the AFRO.
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